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(no subject)
Oct. 20th, 2009 | 07:50 pm
You have got to be kidding me. I just did a long rant about the music industry and LJ posts it as a blank entry.
345#$^#$^$%&%^*&#$!@#
345#$^#$^$%&%^*&#$!@#
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(no subject)
Oct. 17th, 2009 | 04:32 pm
music: Circa Survive - Holding Someone's Hair Back
I cried all morning and now I deleted my last entry.
It didn't help. I'll never get the explanations I need. I'll never understand you.
Goodbye.
It didn't help. I'll never get the explanations I need. I'll never understand you.
Goodbye.
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Sunrise, sunset.
Oct. 12th, 2009 | 02:31 pm
music: Rachael Yamagata - 1963
I've become so inverted. Only existing. It's like a stop-motion film in slow motion. I resent my parents for depositing their child in an environment like this.
West Virginia is the cesspool of the United States and I crave to leave. I need to breathe. I demand to experience something other than this. This damn state; where the majority of people who reside in the area have no musical knowledge, who have never read a novel unless assigned to them in a classroom they barely even go to. My mind requires more from life.
Holden Caulfield. That's who I am. It is indeed the most cliché thing I could possibly say, I realize this, but it's true. I have no direction, and I've only just realized what I may want to do with myself.
I feel as though no one wants to be around me (not that I necessarily blame them) and I've essentially stopped making attempts to contact others. I unconditionally have no motivation, due to the fact that in the back of my mind I continually think (and know) that they will just deny my company.
And when I do, when I inexorably do muster up the courage to, it's exactly my fear.
I cannot tell you how many times I heard the phrase, 'You find out your real friends when you graduate'. I would brush it off my shoulder and not think about it any more, because I never thought people that I genuinely appreciate being in my life, would decide to kick my presence out of their thoughts.
West Virginia is the cesspool of the United States and I crave to leave. I need to breathe. I demand to experience something other than this. This damn state; where the majority of people who reside in the area have no musical knowledge, who have never read a novel unless assigned to them in a classroom they barely even go to. My mind requires more from life.
Holden Caulfield. That's who I am. It is indeed the most cliché thing I could possibly say, I realize this, but it's true. I have no direction, and I've only just realized what I may want to do with myself.
I feel as though no one wants to be around me (not that I necessarily blame them) and I've essentially stopped making attempts to contact others. I unconditionally have no motivation, due to the fact that in the back of my mind I continually think (and know) that they will just deny my company.
And when I do, when I inexorably do muster up the courage to, it's exactly my fear.
I cannot tell you how many times I heard the phrase, 'You find out your real friends when you graduate'. I would brush it off my shoulder and not think about it any more, because I never thought people that I genuinely appreciate being in my life, would decide to kick my presence out of their thoughts.
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Oh how fun, apparently I'm a schizo.
Oct. 10th, 2009 | 02:12 pm
music: Animal Collective - In The Flowers
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid Personality Disorder: | Moderate |
| Schizoid Personality Disorder: | Moderate |
| Schizotypal Personality Disorder: | High |
| Antisocial Personality Disorder: | Low |
| Borderline Personality Disorder: | Very High |
| Histrionic Personality Disorder: | Moderate |
| Narcissistic Personality Disorder: | Low |
| Avoidant Personality Disorder: | High |
| Dependent Personality Disorder: | High |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: | Moderate |
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info -- | |
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(no subject)
Oct. 9th, 2009 | 10:13 am
music: Kate Nash - Navy Taxi
When I become attached to someone. It's ridiculous. To the point where when I'm not around them for a very long time it brings upon depression. So I make up any reason to keep myself from doing so.
But I'm at a war of words and I end up sounding like a hypocrite because I care for every person I meet. I want to be there for people. I want them to trust me, but when it all comes down to it I'll never be able to trust them.
I always try to make it evident to people that I do care about them. That I appreciate them being in my life. I always want them to know that, I never want them to feel like I take them being my friend for advantage.
I just wish someone would say something like that to me. Just once.
Josh has the swine flu. I don't want him to die. :(
But, the upside is Shakira's new album leaked!
The two have nothing to do with each other, and I realize this. But that's the one thing that's made me some-what happy in the past month.
But I'm at a war of words and I end up sounding like a hypocrite because I care for every person I meet. I want to be there for people. I want them to trust me, but when it all comes down to it I'll never be able to trust them.
I always try to make it evident to people that I do care about them. That I appreciate them being in my life. I always want them to know that, I never want them to feel like I take them being my friend for advantage.
I just wish someone would say something like that to me. Just once.
Josh has the swine flu. I don't want him to die. :(
But, the upside is Shakira's new album leaked!
The two have nothing to do with each other, and I realize this. But that's the one thing that's made me some-what happy in the past month.
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(no subject)
Sep. 29th, 2009 | 11:35 am
music: Karen O and the Kids - All Is Love
I've just listened to Where the Wild Things Are's soundtrack in it's entirety. It's wonderful. I can only imagine how well it fits together with the film, because while listening it gave me the urge to re-read my fifteen year old copy of the book and it fit together like a puzzle.
(It's so odd to say I own something fifteen years old. It's more odd to say I own something eighteen years old. It's just still hard to believe I'm actually a legal adult.)
I look back at when I first bought the Harold and Maude soundtrack just for the fact that it was completely Cat Stevens and I've gotten over my disappointment with it being entirely Karen O and the Kids and not multiple artists, and as I sit here pondering I really can not see another artist capturing the movie the way they, Karen O's voice and energy in particular, did.
I've been excited for this as soon as I heard Spike Jonze had taken on the project and like most adaptations of your youth you're going to be apprehensive, but after viewing the trailer over and over and seeing the illustrations I love come to life; I have full faith in him.
I'm refraining on going on a rant about how much I adore the sixties. So, I'll just leave it at: this is just another example of the amazing art that decade brought us.
With that said, those seventeen days need to hurry as fast as time will allow. :)
KW was always my favorite.
On a completely other note mentioning the sixties reminds me that Lucy Vodden, the girl who inspired 'Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds' passed away yesterday from Lupus. :'(
(It's so odd to say I own something fifteen years old. It's more odd to say I own something eighteen years old. It's just still hard to believe I'm actually a legal adult.)
I look back at when I first bought the Harold and Maude soundtrack just for the fact that it was completely Cat Stevens and I've gotten over my disappointment with it being entirely Karen O and the Kids and not multiple artists, and as I sit here pondering I really can not see another artist capturing the movie the way they, Karen O's voice and energy in particular, did.
I've been excited for this as soon as I heard Spike Jonze had taken on the project and like most adaptations of your youth you're going to be apprehensive, but after viewing the trailer over and over and seeing the illustrations I love come to life; I have full faith in him.
I'm refraining on going on a rant about how much I adore the sixties. So, I'll just leave it at: this is just another example of the amazing art that decade brought us.
With that said, those seventeen days need to hurry as fast as time will allow. :)
KW was always my favorite.
On a completely other note mentioning the sixties reminds me that Lucy Vodden, the girl who inspired 'Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds' passed away yesterday from Lupus. :'(
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Clean slate.
Sep. 29th, 2009 | 10:47 am
music: Devendra Banhart - Owl Eyes
I've just deleted every entry besides the most recent. Looking back on the past isn't good for me. I'm going to start writing my opinions more. I see this as a way for me to speak up for myself, even if no one else pays it any mind.
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(no subject)
Jun. 28th, 2009 | 01:45 pm
music: Michael Jackson - Give In To Me
Obviously, Iran is a serious situation and I have indeed shown as much support as I possibly can. I have repeatedly had discussions and debates, however, there isn't much more a non-militant, non-government associated American can do other than simply show support.
When others claim that I, anyone rather, can not be upset about an icon's death makes me sick. Art is the most beautiful and precious thing anyone can create, it should be treasured. Michael Jackson was an outstanding musician. He may have been speculated of doing things in his personal time, but his issues were none of our, the public's business. We only need to be looking at him as an artist, which he was. An extremely talented soul, when I speak of him as an artist I can not speak highly enough.
Music is the only truly important to me. Michael Jackson's music, is one of my biggest pop influences to me among millions of other lives. Even though, I hate to bring it up and it isn't my or anyone's business it seems like the only thing people always refer to him as. 'The child molester'. I will not apologize. I will defend that man until the day I die. He was an innocent man and lived vicariously through children because he had experienced no childhood of his own, being pushed into the spotlight when he was only at the age of six.
But, I'm getting completely off topic. Just because someone is affected by someone's death and the realization that they are no longer apart of this world does not make someone 'ignorant' on a subject. It does not mean your knowledge of a subject is any less.
In a sense, yes he was just a man. Yes, we should have more coverage of situations happening in the Middle East. But, that's they way our media works. They over-shadow the bigger picture. They force feed one popular topic at a time down our throats. That does not give a pretentious douche bag, with more than likely no knowledge on the subject himself the right to insult my intelligence.
If someone wants to discuss something with me. I will gladly. But the moment the discussion becomes heated, and a man who is twenty-seven years old starts acting like a child in middle school using insults of that nature is where I stop. And it just proves that you were probably never acquainted on either topic.
When others claim that I, anyone rather, can not be upset about an icon's death makes me sick. Art is the most beautiful and precious thing anyone can create, it should be treasured. Michael Jackson was an outstanding musician. He may have been speculated of doing things in his personal time, but his issues were none of our, the public's business. We only need to be looking at him as an artist, which he was. An extremely talented soul, when I speak of him as an artist I can not speak highly enough.
Music is the only truly important to me. Michael Jackson's music, is one of my biggest pop influences to me among millions of other lives. Even though, I hate to bring it up and it isn't my or anyone's business it seems like the only thing people always refer to him as. 'The child molester'. I will not apologize. I will defend that man until the day I die. He was an innocent man and lived vicariously through children because he had experienced no childhood of his own, being pushed into the spotlight when he was only at the age of six.
But, I'm getting completely off topic. Just because someone is affected by someone's death and the realization that they are no longer apart of this world does not make someone 'ignorant' on a subject. It does not mean your knowledge of a subject is any less.
In a sense, yes he was just a man. Yes, we should have more coverage of situations happening in the Middle East. But, that's they way our media works. They over-shadow the bigger picture. They force feed one popular topic at a time down our throats. That does not give a pretentious douche bag, with more than likely no knowledge on the subject himself the right to insult my intelligence.
If someone wants to discuss something with me. I will gladly. But the moment the discussion becomes heated, and a man who is twenty-seven years old starts acting like a child in middle school using insults of that nature is where I stop. And it just proves that you were probably never acquainted on either topic.